Humane Thinking - Introspection 2019

2019 is around the clock.

I would like to have a quick glance back of my own key takeaway this year.

How can one relate from above picture?

A giant elephant compared to the small dog, hard rain and an umbrella for the dog.  What is it there for the elephant and what does it feel to be the dog?

Picture paints thousand words.

Everyone has one own closure of the year.

I have never felt the urge to write down the most introspection like today, try to capture the biggest learning of the year - in the most appropriate wordings, as much as I can.  But I guess, writing it upright is the most sane.

I am not usually look out for respect.  It is not me at all. 

For you who know me long enough will understand what I mean.  But somehow this time, I learn my lesson.

One should have been selfish enough not to get hurt.

One should not be too kind to think of the "outer space".

Probably "respect" is not the right word.  It got spitted out unplanned when someone didn't even think how to appeal properly when she was the one expecting helping hands.   I remember my best friend said, "I am not thinking of respect, but more on how she will get the job done."

Moving forward, I will learn to improve myself.

This time round, I won't share any songs nor lyrics but more to pictures.  Guess they look better.

So here I have from my best friend, an alarm 😎

Welcome 2020 - time to move on, be a new someone.  So much that people will recognize the difference.

Good bye 2019!

Worthwhile

Worthwhile - according to Merriam Webster Online, it is:

\-ˈhwī(-ə)l, -ˈwī(-ə)l\

: worth doing or getting : good enough, important enough,

etc., to be worth spending time, effort, or money on.

Once there were green fields, kissed by the sun

Once there were valleys where rivers used to run

Once there were blue skies with white clouds high above

Once they were part of an everlasting love

We were the lovers who strolled through green fields

Green fields are gone now, parched by the sun

Gone from the valleys, where rivers used to run

Gone with the cold wind, that swept into my heart

Gone with the lovers, who let their dreams depart

Where are the green fields that we used to roam?

While Einstein said a life worthwhile is meant for

only a life lived for others.

I'll never know what made you run away

How can I keep searching when dark clouds hide the day

I only know there's nothing here for me

Nothing in this wide world left for me to see

A closed friend told me a story tonight.  She is so

desperate for being betrayed by someone she trusts

so much.  Have passed few sleepless nights without

meals.  Well, I told her - we won't die just because

lack of sleeps and intakes.  Eventually we will be

able to survive, being stronger and wiser.  We are

talking about time and cycle.  A process has never

been easy but that's how we will become someone

shaped through time.  

I am not saying I am totally perfect.  I am just

a norm who still face ups and downs.  What I am

trying to say, life is a cycle, a process of what we

will become.  We have choices, own our actions.

We may get distracted somehow and I won't say

it is easy.  But you'll get through it....

I'm a survivor

I've got the eye of a tiger

I've been training again

and eating my fiber

You've been staying alive

Well I've been staying alive ~ er

If you try to keep me down
I'll just come back stronger
If you try to cut me short
I'll just come back longer
If you beat me at ping pong
I'll just play ping pong ~ er
Give me my throne
I'm ready to thrive
One thing I know
I will survive

Worthwhile ~ is a word ...

There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
Nothing you can make that can't be made
No one you can save that can't be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn
how to be you in time.. it's easy

Recent movie Dawn of the Planet of the Apes,

shows lots of "worthwhile", for a Caesar, for

leadership.  There were few scenes so touchy,

and I just couldn't help to shed tears. 

Let me share few lines here, I quote and add

some personal views.  Credit goes to 

Brian Dodd and Jeff Shortridge:

1. Scars Make You Strong - scars are a reminder 

healing taken place.

2. Successful leaders have options - I have my

own quotes from the movie when Caesar let go

Koba's hand after saying: You are not ape.

3. Choose your inner circle wisely - sometimes those

closest to us are in our blind spot.  They may attack

and stab you on your back.  One bad leader on our

team can destroy everything.

4. Make sure your inner circle shares your vision -

more than one vision brings division.

5. Choose an inner circle who can handle pressure -

one troublemaker will cost extraordinary amounts

of time and energy to regain trust.

6. Leaders must address rebellion immediately -

smart leaders identify bad morale and deal with it

before it deals with them.

7. Trust and unity must be aggressively protected -

trust is the foundation of quality relationship.  It

will take lifetime to build trust but in a second to

lose it.

8. Beware of personal agendas - beware, just because

you made an investment in someone's life doesn't 

guarantee loyalty. 

9. Leaders are limited because of lack of forgiveness -

I have often said, forgive is easier than forget.  I can

forgive, and the scars are just too deep to forget.  But

I can manage to take and move on (see#1).

10. Great leaders bring people together - this refers to

Caesar and Malcolm.  It takes 2 strong leaders to bring

diverse parties together.

11. "I chose to trust him because he is an ape.  I think

ape is better than human.  I see how much like we are"

- leaders build common ground by focusing on what 

unites us more than what divides us.

12. People always seek strongest branch - your leadership

is only strong as your followers' perception of you.

13. Many people follow fear - fear is great influencer.

14. Leaders must have the courage and conviction to

make hard and unpopular decisions - sometimes you have

to break your own rules to establish orders. (see #2)

15. The importance of loyalty - loyalty doesn't make a

leader, but disloyalty disqualified one from leadership.

Those who are truly loyal to you will stand by you

even if shunned for doing so.

Cause I've got faith of the heart

I'm going where my heart will take me

I've got faith to believe

I can do anything

I've got strength of the soul

no one's gonna bend nor break me

I can reach any star

I've got faith

I've got faith

Faith of the heart ...

Again, worthwhile...

Everyone has own preference defining what worths

for or in life.

Here goes one of my fave song and singer:

Memory .. all alone in the moonlight

I can smile at the old days

It was beautiful then

I remember the time I knew what happiness was

Let the memory live again ...

Happiness is one special thing worths to share. 

However I find there is also way that:

Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moon light

Someone's thinking of me, and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there, someone's saying a prayer

That we'll find one another,

in that big somewhere out there...

Somewhere out there, if love can see us through

Then we'll be together, somewhere out there

Out where dreams come true .....

* thank "you" for being there :)

Husband Store

Many marriages would be better if husband and wife understood they are on the same side.

Zig Ziglar

A store that sells “new husbands” has just opened in Jakarta, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

“You may visit the store ONLY ONCE. There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.”

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have high paying jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have high-paying jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.  “Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking, and help with the housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

orphans make the best recruits

there was a time back to 8-10 years ago,
i needed to add few team members.  we
had vendors provided me resumes and
i chose names based on requirements.
usually, i have my own preferences as 
well, those based on people relationship
experiences which most of the time 
proven to be right takes.  sometimes,
i will let the options flow as it is,
and end up will still be something that
i've expected to see.  not to mention,
it also shows undeniable facts.

that day, can't really remember precise
year, i managed to shortlist at least 3 
cute brilliant girls into the team.
after finalising last interview, i gazed
to their profiles.  eventhough i was not
so surprised as it was not the first time,
again i noticed all lead to similar profile.

long ago, i've noticed an attribute and 
somehow agree that birds of a feather flock
together.

and then i need to really say:
orphan makes the best recruits!

even we are not really linked together now,
all of them are flying high, but still 
close to heart.

i note this down to remember:
i once had 3 best recruits, and i am glad
they were part of my team!

:Everything in its right time
:Everything in its right place
:But 'til then i like it this way
:It's my way
:I like it this way

[single - natasha bedingfield]

the starfish thrower

Once upon a time, there was a 
wise man who used to go to 
the ocean to do his writing. 
He had a habit of walking on 
the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along 
the shore, he looked down the beach
and saw a human figure moving 
like a dancer. 


He smiled to himself at the thought 
of someone who would dance to the 
day, and so, he walked faster to catch 
up.  As he got closer, he noticed that 
the figure was that of a young man, 
and that what he was doing was 
not dancing at all. 


The young man was reaching down 
to the shore, picking up small objects, 
and throwing them into the ocean. 


He came closer still and called out, 
"Good morning! May I ask what it 
is that you are doing?" 


The young man paused, looked up, 
and replied "Throwing starfish into 
the ocean." 

"I must ask, then, why are you 
throwing starfish into the ocean?" 
asked the somewhat startled wise man. 


To this, the young man replied, 
"The sun is up and the tide is going out. 
If I don't throw them in, they'll die." 


Upon hearing this, the wise man 
commented, "But, young man, do you 
not realize that there are miles and miles
of beach and there are starfish all along 
every mile? You can't possibly make 
a difference!" 


At this, the young man bent down, 
picked up yet another starfish,
and threw it into the ocean. 


As it met the water, he said, 
"It made a difference for that one." 

This story has appeared all over the web 
in various forms, usually with no credit 
given to Mr. Eiseley.  Loren Eiseley was 
a anthropologist who wrote extensively. 
He was the 'wise man' in the story, 
and he was walking along a beach after 
a storm and encountered the fellow 
throwing the starfish back.  Sometimes 
it is a little girl throwing the starfish 
into the ocean, sometimes a young man,
once even an elder


[thanks to bang Roka - for the sharing]

1 - Saying and Blood Type

This would be a preliminary writing for the overall stories.
Let's start with a basic understanding of how blood type
is formed to a child from parents.  Sources are various
to support the overall writing.


This writing eventually will lead to people relationship
from internal approaches.  We identify whether realistic
or not, some parts are based on observation thus facts.
Apart from physical observation, usual prediction is from
sign or zodiac.  We identify there are the month's zodiac
and chinese (year) zodiac.  And then lately, prediction
using blood type becomes quite common.


It's not the intention to get the reading into some kind
of true or false situation as we know when we talk about
human, there is no certainty at all.  


I have something to write but not started since long ago.
Here's the idea.  I truly believe, relationship is formed 
from act and reaction by those people involved.  When
it comes to relationship, it consists of blended-action,
whereby others don't see them as individual anymore.


there is no WE without ME (turn the W upside down
and we get me)

there is no US without U

OK, enough about the saying.  Let's start to see first
thing about blood type.
---------------------------------------------------------------


This is paternity determination by blood type.  Blood type
can be used to disprove paternity in many cases.  We can
use the ABO blood type charts to predict the possibilities
of paternity.


We can use the charts to determine either cases, i.e.:
1.  The ABO blood type of the child when the blood type
of the father and the mother are known (first chart), or
2.  The ABO blood type of the father if the blood type
of the child and the mother are known (second chart).

Now we understand the possibility of
our blood type comes from.
(cont'd)

the miracles of "chinese bamboo" in your life

all of us must have dreams
dreams of your own
dreams for your loved one
dreams for your family

have you ever feel so tired?
tired to work days after days
yet not so promising results afterall


have you ever feel so hopeless?
seeing there is no so much improvements
'though you've put all best efforts in

have you ever blame yourself?
thinking if you've done everything right
assuming you performing things differently

have you ever feel so much despair?
feeling your dreams are so far away?


what are you willing to do,
to make your dreams come true?
how long are you willing to work?
how long are you willing to take action?
how long are you willing,
to push past your fear and doubt?
how much faith and belief,
are you willing to have?

i hope your answer is one -
that will help you achieve
all you dream of in life!

as you continue to dream,
do so knowing that
SOMEONE BELIEVES IN YOU
to make sure you understand
the Miracle of Chinese Bamboo
because they believe you can create
miracles in YOUR own life!


have the passion and perseverance.
it's the key to achieve your dreams!

The Miracle of Chinese Bamboo

thank you to the Jenkins - for this valuable sharing

marrying the right person

During one of our seminars, 
a woman asked a common 
question.  She said, 
"How do I know if I married 
the right person ?"
I noticed that there was a 
large man sitting next to 
her so I said, 
"It depends. Is that your husband?"


In all seriousness, she answered,
"How do you know?"


Let me answer this question because the 
chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. 


Here's the answer.


EVERY relationship has a cycle. 
In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. 
You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and 
liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard.  
In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous 
experience. You didn't have to DO anything. 
That's why it's called "falling" in love... 
Because it's happening TO YOU. 


People in love sometimes say, 
"I was swept of my feet." 
Think about the imagery of that expression.
It implies that you were just standing there; 
doing nothing, and then something came 
along and happened TO YOU. 


Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and 
spontaneous experience. 


But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria 
of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY 
relationship.  Slowly but surely, phone calls 
become a bother (if they come at all), 
touch is not always welcome (when it happens), 
and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of 
being cute, drive you nuts. 


The symptoms of this stage vary with every 
relationship, but if you think about your marriage, 
you will notice a dramatic difference between 
the initial stage when you were in love and 
a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. 


At this point, you and/or your spouse might 
start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" 
And as you and your spouse reflect on the 
euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin
to desire that experience with someone else. 


This is when marriages breakdown. People 
blame their spouse for their unhappiness 
and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes 
and sizes.  Infidelity is the most obvious. 
But sometimes people turn to work, church, 
a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or 
abusive substances. 


But the answer to this dilemma does 
NOT lie outside your marriage. 
It lies within it. 


I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in 
love with someone  


And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. 
But you'd be in the same situation a 
few years later.  Because (read this carefully):


THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE 
IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE 
THE PERSON YOU FOUND. 

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or 
spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just 
happen to you.  You can't "find" LASTING love. 
You have to "make" it, day in and day out. 
That's why we have the expression, 
"the labor of love."


Because it takes time, effort, and energy.
And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. 
You have to know WHAT TO DO 
to make your marriage work. 


Make no mistake about it. 
Love is NOT a mystery. 
There are specific things you can do 
(with or without your spouse ) 
to succeed with your marriage.


Just as there are physical laws of the 
universe (such as gravity).
There are also laws for relationships. 


Just as the right diet and exercise program 
makes you physically stronger, 
certain habits in your relationship 
WILL make your marriage stronger. 
It's a direct cause and effect. 
If  you know and apply the laws, 
the results are predictable... 
You can "make" love.


Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'...
Not just a feeling.


REMEMBER THIS ALWAYS:


God determines who walks into your life.
It is up to you to decide 
who you let walk away,
who you let stay,
and who you refuse to let go.

(thanks Felicia, for the story)